She is still profound in me

Your last nudge killed a lot in me …

                                                including U …

                                                     my first and last incorrect perception

            I used to feel it and lived it for years under the false roof of my well treasured understanding, that you are not any more in me but the gullible me, thinking something and feeling something else.

Then I was a minor for life’s original spin-offs. But in my bewilderment I flowered the deepest you in me. I was ignorant of the slow process of poison creation, the poison which gives life and takes away the living from you.

            My several attempts or rather several unsuccessful attempts of living that life without you, were making that living arduous without you. This is unfair, life given by you can’t be lived with you and life given by you can’t be given up as it is given by you.

            When I became major and thought of living somebody else’s life, I failed as so poor actor I am, even before others caught me I caught myself for being so unnatural. By now you were so in depth in me that the depth of my life was you.  

            You were in all the three tenses for me, the only moment you were not in me was the moment in between two seconds.

            The only way to be alive now is to live like you, maybe someday you will get tired of yourself, will leave me and then we will live together.